“My favourite so far has to be Potty, Fartwell & Knob.”

Emily Berry, The Guardian

“This compendium of amusing British names is as smutty as its title promises: Roger Quicklove, Hester Snogs and Willy Wanker all make an appearance, with plenty more besides. In between the sniggers, though, there is the occasional poignant or curious name that makes you wonder about the life that person led. Did Jesus Christ (born 1940, died Rotherham, 2004) feel burdened by his name? Were the parents of Orlando Furiosa Cross (died 1621) fans of Ariosto? How long did the parents of Miracle Johnson wait before she was born? And when you’re bored with that, just turn the page for Nicholas Virgin and Fanny Cockup.”

Sameer Rahim, Daily Telegraph

“It goes without saying that, as a Sunday Times reader, you have highbrow tastes in comic writing. You enjoy a bit of Aristophanes now and again, and can’t get enough of the satires of Juvenal. So I hesitate to mention a title called Potty, Fartwell & Knob. The best jokes come at you unexpectedly, and so it is with this list of real people with extraordinary names...I defy you not to laugh. Some names are rather rude and would require lavish use of the asterisk, but I think I can mention Fanny Tickler (born 1836) and Nancy Boys (born 1842). And wouldn’t you like to know more about Mr William Tippen Useless, not to mention Thigh McKay, Herbert Sherbert and Mary Fairy?”

Roland White, The Sunday Times

“I can see no possible justification for a puerile and tasteless compendium that panders to the lowest barrel-scraping grade of British bodily-functions ‘humour’ – apart from the fact that it may well make you laugh like a hyena.”

Boyd Tonkin, The Independent

“Even more childish is acclaimed list compiler Russell Ash’s Potty, Fartwell & Knob. Amazingly, this is the first ever complete collection of unlikely-but-true British names. Handily assembled in appropriately-titled chapters such as Private Functions and Nature or Torture, the list includes everyone from Dick Brain to Hugh Fatty to Jemima Panties.”

Henry Sutton, Daily Mirror

“For pure amazingness, Potty, Fartwell & Knob is Russell Ash’s collection of extraordinary but true names of British people: Caractacus L. Habakkuk (born 1857), Enema Bottomley Wood (1855), and Lotta Rump (1902), to select just three.”

Philippa Logan, Oxford Times

“Side-splitting…”

(full article) Lincolnshire Echo

Fancy being named after a toilet roll?

Toilet rolls and washroom systems are our business at Tork – and one of which we are very proud. But imagine how it would feel to be named after a washroom?

According to a new book on British names there has been at least one Lou Paper, a Lou Roll and one Toilet over the past 200 years. There have also been at least two babies named Urinal.

Toilet Halkyard lived in Northowram, Yorkshire, in the 1870s. Urinal Welburn was born in 1817 – well before the washroom facility of the same name was patented in 1866. The parents of Urinal James had no such excuse when their own offspring was born in 1889.

Lou Paper was born in Watford in 1858, and Loo Roll hailed from Uxbridge in 1902.  Other “toilet people” included a trio from London named Evan Toilitt Brown, Selina Bidet and Latrine Dubois respectively.

It could have been worse. Toilet and the others might have taken their names from an actual toilet function instead of the washroom environment itself. The following people all lived in Britain over the past 1,000 years according to parish registers, censuses and other official records.

(Feature by Ann Laffeaty based on names found in Potty, Fartwell & Knob – see original)

Daily Mail, ‘Answers to Correspondents’ (6 December 2007)

Jane Finch asked:

“My great-grandfather was called Ernest Milk Cremer. Does anyone have ancestors with equally daft food-related names?”

My reply:

“Jane Finch’s great-grandfather Ernest Milk Cremer is by no means the only bearer of a food-related name.

  He is listed, along with several thousand strange-but-true names, in my book Potty, Fartwell & Knob, the food section of which includes: Gentle Fudge, Philetus Fish, Theophilus Porridge, Bernard Haggis, Tom Ato, Hans Sandwich, John Gustavus Trifle, Petronella Hamburger, Agnes Chutney, Louisa Loaf, Ann Drybread, Louisa F. De la Sausage, Lucy Pancake, Sue Flay, Frances Crumpet, Kind Jelly, Jane Bisto, Hazel Nutt, Roy Baguette, Moses Lard, Hephzibah Cream, John William Biscuit, William Spam Dadd, Maud Stale Bun, Alexander Custard, Charles Chips, Posthumous Mince, Elizabeth Macaroni, Low Fat, Min Spiess, Jam Curry, George Ketchup, Lettuce Burger, Patti Serrie, Salami Wingate, Bovril Simpson, Agnes Semolina Thrower, Princess May Cheese, Piggy Liver, Thomas Treacle, Joseph Twaddle Mustard and Daisy Lasagna.

  I did consider dividing them up unto starters, main courses and desserts, but thought that might be over-egging the pudding...”

Samantha Holt, Waterstone’s, Wigan

If you thought you had a funny name I bet it’s not a patch on some of these! Hilarious names throughout the century, some silly, some very strange and others just plain rude. It’s a book to pick up again and again and you’ll always find something different – highly amusing.

Tuulia Sipila, Waterstone’s, Trafalgar Square, London

It seems like a primitive form of humour to laugh at people’s names but how can you not have a giggle at someone called Fanny Congress, I mean it seems like a perfect name for a US congressman and equally, Dick Condom like a suitable name for a rubber manufacturer and those with children would naturally be suspicious about Vincent Pedo. As a writer, I would love to be called Page Turner.

Google started in Britain first!

Just thought that some of you might be amused with a book I came across recently that lists hundreds of unusual/interesting names from

official British records of Births, Marriages and Deaths including the following (all genuine):

Source: Potty, Fartwell & Knob by Russell Ash

(see original)

Bliss! Heaven! Joy!

A book full of silly names, and the owners are all dead, so no repercussions. I laughed till I ached and have changed my name [to Prism Manchip] in honor of this fine bit of onomastic research.

Here are some lovely examples:

(see original)

Potty, Fartwell & Knob...

I have been reading the above-titled book, with a mixture of hilarity and amazement. So, I thought I’d share a few of my favourites...

I could go on, as there are literally hundreds of them, all real. They made me laugh, so I hope they do you too.

(see original)

Is There A Barb Dwyer Here? I’m After Barb Dwyer!

Names are an interesting thing. You have no choice in them whatsoever and, in the majority of cases, you have to put up with them for your whole life.

Recently, in a fit of reading that is rare at the best of times, I completed a book called Potty, Fartwell & Knob: Extraordinary But True Names of British People by Russell Ash. And it is just that, a list of people’s names. It is, however dry you may think that subject is, incredibly funny.

Some of the names make little sense until you read them out loud, or spend a bit of time thinking about them. But that is the beauty of the book – it gets you thinking. It’s almost like a brain training exercise!

Barb Dwyer, incidentally, was baptized at Sacred Heart and English Martyrs, Thornley, Durham on 7 January 1877.

Two more favourites are Tom Ato (Sleaford, Lincolnshire, 1867) and Tom Ayto (Grantham, Lincolnshire, 1808)!

Well worth a look.

(see original)

Fame at last for Minty Badger and Peter Piddle

I’m glad to see that someone has finally written a book about silly British names: Potty, Fartwell & Knob: Extraordinary But True Names of British People. The book celebrates the fact that our countryfolk can (and do) call their children unbelievably silly things such as Constant Pain, Florence May Pee, Nicholas Orgy and Gertrude Obedience Goose. So what do children think about their parents’ joke at their expense? Or were some of the names a genuine a mistake? I heard of two Liverpudlian girls called Pat Mycock and Adora Dick respectively whose parents hadn’t a clue what they had done until the playground enlightened them. Admittedly, sometimes the fault is not down to the parents at all but the result of a tragic decision to move to the wrong country. For instance, the little Chinese girl called Wi Mee (pronounced “why me”) earned sniggers from her classmates and fury on the part of her teacher when asked for her name in class and forced to respond. Let’s hear it for little Wi and the owners of some of those other truly silly British names: Minty Badger, Peter Piddle and Matilda Suckcock.

(see original)

The Fanny Blog

My Mum bought me this book, Potty Fartwell & Knob: Extraordinary But True Names of British People, written by Russell Ash. All the names are fully researched and are from parish records, censuses, and birth/death/marriage registers dating back as far as the 12th century. I thought I would share the Fanny chapter with you, because I almost had a cardiac incident reading it to Luce and Katt the other night.

*Note for those unschooled in British slang, “fanny” means “ladybits”.

Fanny Affection – Fanny Box – Fanny B. Bythesea – Loveday Fanny Cocks – Fanny Coil – Fanny Crease – Fanny Crotch – Fanny Bollock Cullis – Fanny Eighteen – Fanny Fanny – Quadruna Fanny Fewster – Fanny Fidget – Fanny Flick – Fanny Flow – Fanny Funk – Fanny Funt – Fanny Gash – Fortunate Fanny Hinder – Fannys Hole (yep, the S is supposed to be there) – Fanny Honey – Fanny Humpage – Fanny Ing – Fanny Lather – Fanny Lingo – Fanny Lips – Fanny Lover – Fanny Lust – Fanny Alotta Mould – Fanny Organ – Fanny Jane Penis – Fanny Plenty – Fanny Pounder – Fanny Pussephette – Fanny Pussey – Nine Fanny Rogers – Many Fanny Salisbury – Fanny Pink Simons – Fanny Spong – Pubete Fanny Steel – Fanny Strain – Fanny Tingle – Fanny Warmer – Fanny Warning – Fanny Washer – Fanny Wonder

Just a few of the glorious names people have tortured their children with through the ages....

(see original)

I’m busy buying Christmas presents on-line and I just have to mention this crazy book I read about in the Telegraph last night. It’s called Potty, Fartwell & Knob and the review said “This compendium of amusing British names is as smutty as its title promises: Roger Quicklove, Hester Snogs and Willy Wanker all make an appearance, with plenty more besides. In between the sniggers, though, there is the occasional poignant or curious name that makes you wonder about the life that person led.” Can you believe that there was someone called Fanny Cockup? I think I’m going to have to get two copies – one for Tom and one for my brother-in-law. In fact, maybe one for my brother too. It’s just the sort of stuff they’ll chortle over in front of the fire after Christmas dinner.

(see original)

Hilariously Brilliant

This is an amazingly funny book – it will have tears rolling down your face. My brother received it as a Christmas present, and we didn’t stop laughing for about twenty minutes of reading! Then we had to put it down and have some Christmas dinner...  It is a great present, or something great to have in the house for people to pick up, read, and laugh at.

Loved it

I have to show this book to all that call in. It’s one of those books that you can have hanging around and just pick it up and open. I must say it’s even better after a pint or two.

I cried…and cried…and cried…with laughter

This is ‘simply’ a book of people’s names. I laughed so much I came close to wetting myself. This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. Anyone who does not think so should be shot. I mean it.

I cried laughing!

I bought this book as Christmas present but kept putting off wrapping it for weeks cos I died laughing every time I opened it!

This book is hundreds upon hundreds of names (all verified from birth and death certificates) that mostly make your jaw drop in disbelief and horror that someone’s parents actually stared into their baby’s eyes upon birth and cooed “hello sweetheart, welcome to the world, Fanny Warmer”. I must have a real toilet sense of humour as I found the rude ones so hilarious I found myself guffawing away like a mad woman!

I can’t recommend this book highly enough if you just need a quick pick-me-up. Whatever you were down about, after two minutes with this your sides will be splitting.

I want a copy!

This book is hilarious! My cousin got it for Christmas and brought it out when we came up for New Year, it had my Dad in tears! A great book to dip into in your spare time for both young and old, or if you’re feeling particularly childish, for making prank calls Bart Simpson style ;-)

Very funny and well researched

A book to dip into rather than read in one go – but very funny. The rude names are the most hilarious, but some of the others have stayed with me longer – for example Freezer Breeze (born 1839), Experience Tingle (married 1689) and Mineral Waters (1893). Some of the odd names would have been perfectly normal before the invention of an object – so the individual named Condom was not blighted during his lifetime, but the name is now odd. Great stuff.

Laughed so hard we cried

My husband bought this book for his brother for Christmas and I looked at him like he was mad.

However, when the wrapping paper came off and BIL started reading it he had 5 people (aged from 27 to 57) in stitches – you know when you laugh so hard that you cry and you don’t think you’ll ever breathe again? That’s what this book will do.

It’s completely inappropriate – and should really have an age warning on it* – but it could be the funniest book you’ll buy this century!

* It does, on the back cover – but the title might suggest it’s not ideal for a child!

A real page-turner

Bought the book originally as a secret santa for a work colleague, but once I opened the book it has become a part of daily life with the youngest of our children being in fits everytime the book emerges. Have had to order our own copy (and censor it also!!). Highly enjoyable humour!!

A great gift. Perfect!!

I was bought this as an early xmas gift and I am so very pleased with it! Entertaining and extensively researched, I am amazed that the parents inflict these names on their progeny! Buy it for a great read or a perfect gift. Trust me, I can’t rate this high enough!

This book is humorous

An excellent stocking filler for all the family, providing they are not overly offended by the C word. Fans of Bart Simpson’s prank calls will be especially grateful for new material. Would also suit sadistic expectant parents. Genuinely amusing, but spare a thought for the sorry tales of bullying and loneliness that must lie behind some of the more preposterous names.

Endless Fun and Thought!

This and Peter Cave’s Can a Robot be Human? have been my best two book buys for a long time. Ash makes you laugh and wonder and Cave makes you laugh and think. They are an excellent combination to buy together!

One of the best

Not since David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day and McCrae’s Katzenjammer have I laughed so much at names and situations. This is a great book, but the most amazing part is that it’s true! The research that went into this is incredible and one can only imagine the author knocking on doors, asking for information. Why parents would name some of their kids these things is beyond the imagination, but it happens. “Rosetta Pennis?” Come on! Were you trying to put you kid in a mental institution?

Bizarre and Hilarious
This is an unbelievably funny book and what I find so mind-boggling is how can parents saddle their offspring with such names. I can only assume that they have some weird sense of justice and are punishing them in advance of any future misdemeanours they may commit. Or maybe they have a misguided theory about toughening them up to take on a cruel world, a sort of ‘Boy called Sue’ scenario. The other outstanding thing is the amount of research that must have gone into a book like this. Anyway it has all been worthwhile and in this day and age, anything that can make us laugh out loud deserves five stars.

Move this book to the top of the pile!
My latest project is to move Potty, Fartwell & Knob to the top of the pile and the front of the display in every bookshop I visit (Waterstone’s Chester last Friday, Aberystwyth tomorrow). Balancing copies in front of Nigella and Alan Titchmarsh on the big display is more difficult but worth the effort if it brings Russell Ash’s wonderful little book the attention it deserves.

Had to buy a second copy!
I bought this book as a birthday present for a friend, then made the fatal mistake of browsing through it. After a few names I was completely hooked, and in hysterics – and ended up reading it all the way through. Now I’ve had to order a second copy for her!!!!

A wicked treat!
Russell Ash has long been a master of the kind of facts that would have passed many of us by – and would have left our lives a little poorer and more solemn by their absence. But this book tops his canon – it is pure wicked, gloating fun – and what gives the book its edge is that they are all for real. The perfect Xmas present for anyone with a sense of humour, or even better, for someone who hasn’t!

Read at your peril, dangerously hilarious
I cannot thank my Mum enough for this excellent birthday present. It kept my friends and I laughing for hours. From the rude and crude to the just plain odd, our incredulity that people would saddle helpless babes with these names never wavered. Absolutely brilliant, probably one of my favourite ever works of non-fiction.

An astonishing feat, brilliant book
There seems to be no end to the stupidity, cruelty, ingenuity and weirdness of parents, judging by the evidence of the astonishing – and hilarious – names that Russell Ash has dredged from the depths of parochial British history. Imagine going through life with a name like Elle Fant or Rosetta Pennis. It’s a book that can’t be read quietly – it’s so full of mind-boggling insane names that you just have to read out to everyone in earshot. A brilliant book, hours of fun – and a great present if you know someone who’s expecting a baby :-)

Too funny to read in public
I was a fan of Russell Ash’s Bizarre Books, but this foray into malaprop monikers is even better. Some may say that it’s classic lavatory reading – I’d say this was true to the extent that this it might be better to have a toilet close at hand when you first open this book – just in case you wet yourself laughing. Also, it’s properly researched, with references! All in all, an ideal gift for sniggering schoolboys and schoolgirls of all ages.

The Funniest Book in the World
I was absolutely crying with laughter only moments after opening this book – it is absolutely totally and utterly hilarious. A fantastic present!

I laughed so much I had to put the book away
This book is absolutely brilliant! If I’m having a bad moment, I just open it on a random page and in a millisecond I am doubled over in hysterics, tears springing from my eyes, exclaiming ‘I can’t believe someone is actually called Ah Choo, etc, etc’ to the point my laughter almost becomes socially unacceptable. A brilliant present, everyone needs this book in their life!

What a hilarious book!
I picked this book up in an idle moment and haven’t been able to put it down since. Must have been such a laugh to write and I’m definitely going to buy copies for everyone this Christmas. Enjoy!

My tummy hurts!

My mum bought this for someone for Christmas, and intrigued by the name, I couldn’t resist a peek. Within minutes me and my mum were in stitches on the floor with some of the names. After we begrudgingly wrapped it up I was determined to buy my own! Now reading my own one, I will sit in class sniggering to myself and being told off by my lecturer about rudeness, especially when she asked me to read out what I had been laughing at! Not for the faint hearted, and not to be read out in public either! Now I have been demanded copies for all my friends for their birthdays! Get a copy when you can, ’cos everyone will want one! Happy reading!

This book is hilarious. Great for dipping into and guaranteed to raise a laugh every time. Great gift or keep on you coffee table to entertain visitors.

This is a very funny book, as an amateur genealogist I really appreciate the content and I’ll certainly recommend it.